When life serves you lemons, sometimes making lemonade just doesn’t do it. Sometimes “sucking it up” is simply not an option. Sometimes you need to heed the words of Oscar Wilde and subscribe to his adage that “revenge is a dish best served cold”.

News flash! This girl is tired of making lemonade. Sucking it up makes my gums bleed. Bring on the cold cuts. I have sharpened my pen to the point of a sword and I will serve myself.

The object of my ire is the woman (and I use the term loosely as she truly resembles a man) who, through means only open to speculation, has managed to seduce my partner. 

As she has caused me to suffer death by a thousand paper cuts, so I will deal her the same.

An anagram will be your clue / To identify the one I so eschew / Play the game / Find her name / Get to know the dark side of the shrew

Paper cut #1: 

A la…. A chilli!